Blame is a balm. Once well-aimed and directed, it releases our anger and frustration like no other conduit. If we find an ideal target for our rage, blame will soothe much of our pain; it won’t heal it but will alleviate the most immediate symptoms.

If we accept the premise that blame attenuates but does not fix, the next step is to ask ourselves whether we’re looking for immediate and superficial relief or a long-term, lasting solution.

Everything else is irrelevant once we answer this question truthfully.

Blame is a balm

Expecting other people’s enthusiasm to match our own is a sure way to be disappointed. Enthusiasm is so precious and intrinsically free and irreproducible that it may be the last refuge of authenticity in this era of mass production, insincere reach and anti-social media. Faking enthusiasm is an arduous act not many can perform over a prolonged period. These days, a hard thing to fake is a highly valuable thing.

Thus, when we come across someone with similar enthusiasm, we should treasure them. They are fellow survivors in the maelstrom of mainstream mediocrity. Let’s savour it for we should also accept that such serendipity may be short-lived. If we keep such a connection through time and space, we may have something special in our hands.

Rare enthusiasm

We all know that we cannot drink seawater. At least, not sustainably. As with so many facts, most of us ignore the actual – physical, chemical – reason. It turns out the amount of salt in seawater is such that our kidneys must produce a significant amount of urine to dispose of the salt. Indeed, for each cup of seawater consumed, we’d need another cup of fresh water not to dehydrate.

Curiosity satiated, I couldn’t help but think about the quantity of toxicity we ingest in the form of friends, family or work colleagues. Unlike seawater, it’s much harder to notice when the levels are high enough for us to need more energy to deal with them than we can generate.

Drinking seawater

During World War One, millions of young soldiers died because of the decisions made by old generals. I am sure those in the trenches met regularly to regroup and decide how to organise themselves in ways more conducive to their survival. However, unless those in charge also gathered and discussed and challenged each other, the attempts of those on the ground would be futile.

The same dynamic exists in many corporations, obsessed with controlling up to the last minor detail when it comes to its ground force but unable or unwilling to do so at the management level.

When one holds any power, one must remember to look across as much as one may be tempted to continue to look down.

Looking across

Ernest Hemingway is often quoted as having stated, “The only kind of writing is rewriting”. As is always the case with quotes and adages, the attribution is not nearly as significant as the expressed sentiment.

Personally, rewriting has always been daunting. Because writing involves processing the emotions of many characters and the evocation of varied places, however draining, the process is also cathartic. When it comes to rewriting, we work with the mechanical power of words that have already been written, and emotions that have already been felt. We must now revisit and refine them. It’s like looking at old pictures and being able to tweak them. We can make the protagonists smile or stop smiling, use a new angle, add or subtract light, clarify or obscure the image, and let it convey one emotion over the other.

Indeed, once we are familiar with the process, it becomes as enjoyable as the initial telling. This has happened with everything I have learned to do. Whether we sculpt statues, sounds or texts, the only kind of creating is re-creating again and again.

Recreation

If we set out to do anything with anybody, we will inevitably clash on how to do it. Naturally, the alternative cannot be to do nothing or to only work alone. Some endeavours we can only pursue as a collective. Rigid hierarchies and horizontal organisations are merely different approaches to solving the issue of humans working together.

Since we will encounter conflict regardless of our choices, we should probably focus on surrounding ourselves with people skilled at dealing with it. Chances are we could also improve our conflict resolution techniques.

Martian Thoughts

Blame is a balm

Rare enthusiasm

Drinking seawater

Looking across

Recreation

Conflict resolution at every level